"I LOVE HOT DOGS"

"SO TRUE"

"I'M BACK"

WELL FOLKS AFTER A WELL DESERVED BREAK FROM REALITY I'M BACK FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF "IT'S NEWS TO ME!" Thanks for all the wonderful emails.

JUST COULD NOT PASS ON THIS ONE!

BALLARD STREET by Jerry Van Amerongen

"DAMN THE BAD LUCK"

THIS WEEKS FORECAST FOR SAN ANTONIO TEXAS

"AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS"

"Democracies have been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property, and have in general been as short in their lives as they have been violent in their death." James Madison

HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW!

I JUST HAD TO POST THIS ONE!

ANYONE UP FOR SOME CHINESE FOOD?

FALLING DOWN STAIRS

OK, it finally happened! I've been living in a two story house for the past five months with out any problems to speak of. Navigating any set of stares has never been an issue for me. In fact I have traversed many a set of stairs with out difficulty or incident. You know holding a glass of ice tea in one hand, and a plate of spaghetti in the other. Never bothering to look down and watch my every step to insure my arrival would be event less. "Not today!" I was coming down the stairs to take my dog Mick out for a quick pit stop when my cell phone rang! So doing my very best Mikhail Baryshnikov spin move I retraced my steps. Before I could get to the cell it stopped, and the home phone began ringing in the kitchen. Now only being a couple of steps from the top, I again spun around one hundred and eighty degrees with a determined mind to catch that call. Now I really don't know what came over me today. It's not like I was waiting for the President to call. I have never been one that had to stop the world and answer the phone. You know with answering machines in abundance these days I've never worried. Well that's when the action started. My bare foot apparently slipped off the third from the top riser, and I landed on my back looking up at Mick, who thinking dad must be playing a new game, jumped on my chest for the ride down. My feet were in the air and my head was bouncing on each riser giving me the jerking sensation of the cameraman who filmed Saving Private Ryan when Tom Hanks and his band of soldiers were running up the beaches of Normandy. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, silence! Laying there with a black Pomeranian smiling down at me, all I could think of was "What the hell has just happened!" "Did I just.." "No way!" "Not me!" "Damn, I just bought it!" Laying there on the stairs I began to assess my situation. "Head, check!" "Neck, check!" "Back, check!" "Arms, legs, check!" So finally dragging my carcass off the carpet I went to the kitchen and checked my message. It was a call from an Insurance company telling me that "My auto warranty was about to expire, and that they had a special deal for me." All I have to say is "I'm lucky not to be in traction some where, and I'll be damned if I'm buying any extended warranty insurance this week!" by bluesbrown LMAO now...

FOURTH OF JULY

Fire trucks, old cars, people on floats,

Clowns, motorcycles, Shriner's in boats.

Mom, Dad, Jack and Jill,

Hot dogs, hamburgers, barbecue grill.

Homemade ice cream, peaches and cream,

Cane poles, little boys down by the stream.

Bunting and flags flap in the breeze,

Old uncle Buster with his famous sneeze.

Lipstick, short pants, halter top,

Baseball, swimming, soda pop.

Lawn chairs, coolers, cigarette smoke,

Lucy and Roger sneaking a toke.

Popcorn, peanuts, cracker jack,

Johnny and Steven fighting with Mack.

Pickups, dirt roads, riding with Tom,

Sparklers, black cats, cherry bomb.

In bed, lights out, oh what a day,

"Thank you God for freedom"

Is what I pray.

by bluesbrown

THE CIVILIZING OF MAN

From the stoning of the Christian in Caesar's day of reign, to the cremation of the Jew when Hitler had his fame.

The slaving of the African those days not so old, and the supremacy of the Caucasian it made him feel so bold.

The atom bombing of Hiroshima, an era ushered in a new, defeat an entire country with just one or two.

Husane and his Republican guard still fit too be tied, oh and don't forget Bosnia with there genocide.

Man has become to civilized and killing is an art, just drop a bomb and fly away you'll never know his heart.

But if you had to face the man your eliminating today, you might find out he's thirteen years old and very hard at play.

Yes history does repeat it self and it's calling you and I, what decision will we make before it's our time to die.

by bluesbrown

BEER, BEER, BEER, CAT, BEER, BEER...

MAH BROTHAH...

MARK TWAIN QUOTE

"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue, but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinion about them were not worth a brass farthing." Mark Twain

BALLARD STREET by Jerry Van Amerongen

AUTUMN"S CALL

Where have they gone: the Cobbs,

Mantles and Ruths?

They were the heroes of our youth.

As children we use to play on sandlot

stadiums; those carefree days.

We would strike that ball, and run

those bases, with cheers in our heads

and smiles on our faces.

Our evenings were filled with tall

tales and soda pop, as we hung out

by the barbershop.

The old men sat on boxes with their

favorite chew, and told us stories

about the Yankees and old sweet Lou.

Those days of childhood frivolity have

stalled, for we must face autumn's call.

by bluesbrown

SNAKE'S HEAD FOUND DISHED UP AT T.G.I. FRIDAY'S

In Clifton Park New York a severed snake head was found by a diner in a dish of broccoli at a T.G.I. Friday's on May 3rd. The Police said that they could not determine how the animals head got into the dish. The head was about the size of a human thumb and was mixed in with the vegetables. Jack Pendelton a textbook designer told reporters that at first he thought it was a mushroom. Laboratory test confirmed that the head had not been cooked, indicating that it had been added to the dish at the restaurant. Bon Appetit!

TONIGHT SHOWS LOVEABLE SECOND BANANA DEAD AT 86

Surrounded by family members at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, Ed McMahon died shortly after midnight from a multitude of illnesses. Best known as Johnny Carsons side kick for 30 years on the Tonight Show, McMahon had been suffering from bone cancer and complications from a broken neck he sustained in March 2007. Prior to the Tonight Show McMahon and Carson had worked together for 5 years on the game show "Who Do You Trust?" In 1962 Carson took over the Tonight Show from Jack Parr where the two worked together until Carsons retirement in 1992. You will be missed Ed.

ORIGINS OF THE AMERICAN BURRITO

BREAKFAST IN BED

PROTEST TURNS DEADLY

Protests turned deadly today as Iranian government stood by it's promise to squelch the mass public unrest in Tehran.

The BBC has several eyewitness accounts:

"Today we tried to join the protesters in Azadi and Enghelab square, but the rout that we tried was blocked by the police. The plain clothed forces are all Sepah (revolutionary guards), as most of them have Sepah badge on their clothes. In Sattar Khan I saw with my own eyes two ordinary 40-year-old women being beaten severely with electric batons, for nothing but raising their voice in protest."

The Jpost also got an e-mail from Iran:

"Girls are extremely active in all these rallies (a little less in night riots where patches of young men are more visible). They courageously charge anti-riot-police, chant slogans in front of them, lead the crowd, ect., but they are equally beaten too. The police seem to have no limit in the use of force. They are disproportionately violent. They don't use fire weapons, but they don't go easy on you with clubs. They literally beat up protesters to death if they don't get rescued by fellow protesters or someone break away and run. The level of brutality is exceptional, but it is amazing to see how people stand up to them. I heard from many witnesses that thugs were brought by bus from smaller cities to assist police in the crackdown..."

On Twitter this afternoon massive amounts of information is coming in every second detailing how the Iranian government is using helicopters to drop hot acids on the protesters, and YouTube and other Internet sights are showing people dieing from gun shots.

BALLARD STREET by Jerry Van Amerongen

"KUNG FU" ACTOR DAVID CARRADINE DEAD

Michael Turner, spokesman for the U.S. Embassy in Bangkok confirmed the death of 72 year old David Carradine. Turner said "The embassy was informed by Thai authorities that Carradine died either late Wednesday or early Thursday" The cause of death is believed to be suicide. Preliminary police investigation found that Carradine had hanged himself with a cord used to open and shut the rooms curtains. There was no sign of assault and the police believe he had been dead for at least 12 hours. Carradine was in Bangkok to shoot a movie and had only been at the hotel since Tuesday. Carradine was best known as the star of a 1970 TV series "Kung Fu" staring as Kwai Chang Caine, a Shaolin priest traveling the Western American frontier in the 1800s.

BALLARD STREET by Jerry Van Amerongen

IT'S NEWS TO ME, LOOSER OF THE WEEK AWARD!

This weeks looser award goes to a New Hampshire man who was arrested for the 153rd time. Paul Baldwin, 49, told a judge Monday that he plans to plead guilty to the assault, along with trespassing and alcohol charges. Baldwin is accused of punching someone in the face over the weekend, and has stated that he has had a long battle with alcohol and was trying to correct the problem during his most recent one-year jail term, which ended last week. According to a local newspaper Baldwin's arrest records dates back to 1984, and includes 152 other arrests, like 8 trespass orders, 78 citations, 4 Social Security aliases and 17 name aliases. The prosecutor Rena DiLando stated that she has not read Baldwin's full criminal record because it's so long.

LIST OF US NUCLEAR SITES POSTED ON INTERNET

U.S. officials Wednesday stated that someone in our government accidentally posted on the Internet a list of government and civilian nuclear facilities and their activities in the United States. It was also stated that the posting did not include any information that compromised national security.

According to sources the 266 page document was sent from President Barack Obama on May 6th to Congress as required by law and will be provided to the International Atomic Energy Agency.

Energy Secretary Steven Chu said he had no information as to how the document was released, but that it did involved the government printing office.

BALLARD STREET by Jerry Van Amerongen