"I LOVE HOT DOGS"

"SO TRUE"

JUST COULD NOT PASS ON THIS ONE!

BALLARD STREET by Jerry Van Amerongen

"DAMN THE BAD LUCK"

THIS WEEKS FORECAST FOR SAN ANTONIO TEXAS

"AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS"

"Democracies have been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property, and have in general been as short in their lives as they have been violent in their death." James Madison

HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW!

I JUST HAD TO POST THIS ONE!

ANYONE UP FOR SOME CHINESE FOOD?

FALLING DOWN STAIRS

OK, it finally happened! I've been living in a two story house for the past five months with out any problems to speak of. Navigating any set of stares has never been an issue for me. In fact I have traversed many a set of stairs with out difficulty or incident. You know holding a glass of ice tea in one hand, and a plate of spaghetti in the other. Never bothering to look down and watch my every step to insure my arrival would be event less. "Not today!" I was coming down the stairs to take my dog Mick out for a quick pit stop when my cell phone rang! So doing my very best Mikhail Baryshnikov spin move I retraced my steps. Before I could get to the cell it stopped, and the home phone began ringing in the kitchen. Now only being a couple of steps from the top, I again spun around one hundred and eighty degrees with a determined mind to catch that call. Now I really don't know what came over me today. It's not like I was waiting for the President to call. I have never been one that had to stop the world and answer the phone. You know with answering machines in abundance these days I've never worried. Well that's when the action started. My bare foot apparently slipped off the third from the top riser, and I landed on my back looking up at Mick, who thinking dad must be playing a new game, jumped on my chest for the ride down. My feet were in the air and my head was bouncing on each riser giving me the jerking sensation of the cameraman who filmed Saving Private Ryan when Tom Hanks and his band of soldiers were running up the beaches of Normandy. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, silence! Laying there with a black Pomeranian smiling down at me, all I could think of was "What the hell has just happened!" "Did I just.." "No way!" "Not me!" "Damn, I just bought it!" Laying there on the stairs I began to assess my situation. "Head, check!" "Neck, check!" "Back, check!" "Arms, legs, check!" So finally dragging my carcass off the carpet I went to the kitchen and checked my message. It was a call from an Insurance company telling me that "My auto warranty was about to expire, and that they had a special deal for me." All I have to say is "I'm lucky not to be in traction some where, and I'll be damned if I'm buying any extended warranty insurance this week!" by bluesbrown LMAO now...

FOURTH OF JULY

Fire trucks, old cars, people on floats,

Clowns, motorcycles, Shriner's in boats.

Mom, Dad, Jack and Jill,

Hot dogs, hamburgers, barbecue grill.

Homemade ice cream, peaches and cream,

Cane poles, little boys down by the stream.

Bunting and flags flap in the breeze,

Old uncle Buster with his famous sneeze.

Lipstick, short pants, halter top,

Baseball, swimming, soda pop.

Lawn chairs, coolers, cigarette smoke,

Lucy and Roger sneaking a toke.

Popcorn, peanuts, cracker jack,

Johnny and Steven fighting with Mack.

Pickups, dirt roads, riding with Tom,

Sparklers, black cats, cherry bomb.

In bed, lights out, oh what a day,

"Thank you God for freedom"

Is what I pray.

by bluesbrown

THE CIVILIZING OF MAN

From the stoning of the Christian in Caesar's day of reign, to the cremation of the Jew when Hitler had his fame.

The slaving of the African those days not so old, and the supremacy of the Caucasian it made him feel so bold.

The atom bombing of Hiroshima, an era ushered in a new, defeat an entire country with just one or two.

Husane and his Republican guard still fit too be tied, oh and don't forget Bosnia with there genocide.

Man has become to civilized and killing is an art, just drop a bomb and fly away you'll never know his heart.

But if you had to face the man your eliminating today, you might find out he's thirteen years old and very hard at play.

Yes history does repeat it self and it's calling you and I, what decision will we make before it's our time to die.

by bluesbrown

BEER, BEER, BEER, CAT, BEER, BEER...

MAH BROTHAH...

MARK TWAIN QUOTE

"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue, but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinion about them were not worth a brass farthing." Mark Twain

BALLARD STREET by Jerry Van Amerongen

AUTUMN"S CALL

Where have they gone: the Cobbs,

Mantles and Ruths?

They were the heroes of our youth.

As children we use to play on sandlot

stadiums; those carefree days.

We would strike that ball, and run

those bases, with cheers in our heads

and smiles on our faces.

Our evenings were filled with tall

tales and soda pop, as we hung out

by the barbershop.

The old men sat on boxes with their

favorite chew, and told us stories

about the Yankees and old sweet Lou.

Those days of childhood frivolity have

stalled, for we must face autumn's call.

by bluesbrown

SNAKE'S HEAD FOUND DISHED UP AT T.G.I. FRIDAY'S

In Clifton Park New York a severed snake head was found by a diner in a dish of broccoli at a T.G.I. Friday's on May 3rd. The Police said that they could not determine how the animals head got into the dish. The head was about the size of a human thumb and was mixed in with the vegetables. Jack Pendelton a textbook designer told reporters that at first he thought it was a mushroom. Laboratory test confirmed that the head had not been cooked, indicating that it had been added to the dish at the restaurant. Bon Appetit!

ORIGINS OF THE AMERICAN BURRITO

BREAKFAST IN BED

BALLARD STREET by Jerry Van Amerongen

BALLARD STREET by Jerry Van Amerongen

IT'S NEWS TO ME, LOOSER OF THE WEEK AWARD!

This weeks looser award goes to a New Hampshire man who was arrested for the 153rd time. Paul Baldwin, 49, told a judge Monday that he plans to plead guilty to the assault, along with trespassing and alcohol charges. Baldwin is accused of punching someone in the face over the weekend, and has stated that he has had a long battle with alcohol and was trying to correct the problem during his most recent one-year jail term, which ended last week. According to a local newspaper Baldwin's arrest records dates back to 1984, and includes 152 other arrests, like 8 trespass orders, 78 citations, 4 Social Security aliases and 17 name aliases. The prosecutor Rena DiLando stated that she has not read Baldwin's full criminal record because it's so long.

LIST OF US NUCLEAR SITES POSTED ON INTERNET

U.S. officials Wednesday stated that someone in our government accidentally posted on the Internet a list of government and civilian nuclear facilities and their activities in the United States. It was also stated that the posting did not include any information that compromised national security.

According to sources the 266 page document was sent from President Barack Obama on May 6th to Congress as required by law and will be provided to the International Atomic Energy Agency.

Energy Secretary Steven Chu said he had no information as to how the document was released, but that it did involved the government printing office.

BALLARD STREET by Jerry Van Amerongen

STIMULUS WON'T STOP UNEMPLOYMENT

In an interview Sunday with Al Hunt of Bloomberg Television, World Bank President Robert Zoellick warned policy makers that fiscal-stimulus plans are insufficient to turn around the "real economy" and rising joblessness threatens to set off political unrest across the globe. "While the stimulus has given an impulse, it's like a sugar high unless you eventually get the credit system working," Zoellick said. "When unemployment increases, that's probably the most political combustible issue."

SHUTTLE IN SAN ANTONIO

Some San Antonio residence were surprised during their morning commute to the office on Tuesday. The Space Shuttle riding piggyback atop a modified NASA 747 was buzzing around the hill country sky's. The Shuttle Atlantis is making it's cross country flight back to the cape after inclement weather last week forced the crew to land at Edwards Air Force Base in California. The scheduled pit stop at Lackland Air Force Base southwest of town was just to refuel before heading on to it's final destination in Florida.

$74,000 NIGHT ON THE TOWN

President Obama promised Michelle to take her out for dinner and a show once the election was over. So after three private jets, two helicopter rides, extra plains for security and the closing of roads for their motorcade Barack Obama did just that. The presidential couple dined at the Blue Hill restaurant that specialises in locally grown dishes. Then off t0 Broadway where the couple enjoyed Joe Turner's Come And Gone, a play about a man coming to term with the history of slavery. Sounds like a good time to me. So what's up with all the hardware?

Well the president needed the use of three planes. One for the couple and two to ferry aids and reporters all the way from Washington. Then there were two helicopters, one to take the Obama from the White House to their airplane and another one to zip the party to Manhattan from JFK airport. Then the police were enlisted to shut down streets for the motorcade to pass through so they could get to their date on time. But do not fear all the transport and security costs were picked up by the White House. There is one consolation to this story, the presidential couple flew on a smaller Gulfstream rather than the Boeing 747 known as Air Force One.

GODFATHER OF PUNK SINGS STANDARDS

Iggy Pop who once was the lead singer of The Stooges has a new album out called Preliminaires. Renowned world wide for his bare-chested performances and the verbal abuse of his audiences in the late 60's and early 70's is now singing a different tune. Iggy who is 64 years old has taken inspiration for his new album from the likes of Louis Armstrong, Jelly Roll Morton and French novelist Michel Houellebecq. I for one was surprised at the new path this rocker has taken. Give it a listen, I think you might like it.

Preliminaries Track List

1.Les Feuilles Mortes

2. I Want To Go To The Beach

3. King Of The Dogs

4. Je Sais Que Tu Sais

5. Spanish Coast

6. Nice To Be Dead

7. How Insensitive

8. Party Time

9. He's Dead/She's Alive

10. A Machine For Loving

11. She's A Business

12. Les Feuilles Mortes (Marc's Theme)

LONGEST GAME IN NCAA HISTORY

The Texas Longhorn baseball team defeated Boston College Saturday night at Disc Falk Field 3-2 in 25 innings the longest game in NCAA history. Texas 43-13-1 ended the marathon game with a RBI single by Travis Tucker. "Every inning, we felt like we had a chance to win it," said Tucker. "And every inning, we thought we were going to win it. It ended up happening in the 25th." Austin Wood, one of the Longhorns relief pitchers threw 13 innings during the marathon game Saturday night. Boston College went 12 and 1/3 of those innings hit less before Tony Sanchez's singled with two outs in the 19th. Senior left-hander Wood threw 120 of his 169 pitches for strikes while striking out 14 and walking four. Coach Augie Garrido of Texas said, "I my 41 years of coaching, the effort by Austin Wood was the best pitching performance I have ever seen." "Unbelievable." Boston College coach Mike Aoki said, "This was unbelievable." "Austin Wood was incredible, and we have to tip our hat to him and the Longhorns."